Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things that you used to like? My Past Addiction to Gaming

Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things that you used to like?

My Past Addiction to Gaming

For the longest time I had an all too great addiction to gaming. Almost all of us have played a video game at least once. Some people avoid or don’t understand them but for many it’s a popular form of entertainment. For me it was a major part of my life which I have come to regret, and I feel embarrassed looking back on it. I’ve realized it was detrimental to me, my social life, and my conflict with procrastination, and getting reminded of it carries some shame every time.

I had the biggest issue with an addiction to gaming subbie and freshman year. Those were my first two years at uni and the biggest difference that allowed for me to play more was the new freedoms the school provided. Suddenly I had over two hours of free time in the middle of school every other day with a free period and lunch combined. Me and my friends all got the same free period and would spend the hour playing different games together. There’s nothing inherently wrong with gaming with friends, but the issue was the extent I went to. I would spend every bit of time I had on my computer playing something. Free periods, passing periods, in some cases even in class. Even when I wasn’t free and I had an upcoming homework or assignment, I’d put it aside and hop on the game. My addiction was impeding my productivity and effort on schoolwork. It contributed to developing bad habits like turning assignments in late that I’m still attempting to get rid of today. 

Constantly gaming didn’t help with my social life either. People spend passing periods, free periods, and lunch socializing with others. You’re meant to talk with friends, catch up with classmates, and maybe even talk to some new people. Me on the other hand barely did any of those and spent most of my social time just playing something on my computer. I did play with friends a lot of the time, but that isn’t the best way to spend time with them. A major side effect of that was not being able to make new friends since I wouldn’t put any effort into conversing with anyone new. Constantly playing on my computer also didn’t make me very approachable, so I didn’t give others the chance to talk to me either. I ended up getting a reputation for spending all my time gaming. Even teachers called me out for it to no avail because my blinded self wouldn’t listen 

Back then I ignored all these issues and wasn’t bothered at all by them. I was perfectly fine with using every bit of my spare time up. In terms of my social life at the time I was content with not talking to very many others apart from my small group of friends that I’d play with. I was friendly to others and did have a few friends outside of my small group but in the end I didn’t talk to them much and made the choice to spend more time gaming. After spending a year away from Uni and meeting new people, I realized that living like that was unhealthy, remote, and just not what I wanted anymore. I came back and decided that I would completely cut off my addiction, and was driven by shame regarding my past self. I made sure to stop gaming on my computer at school completely, and instead spent my free time socializing with others. I ended up making so many new friends that I wouldn’t have imagined ever talking to before, and I enjoy hanging out instead of constantly being glued to a screen. Now I feel embarrassed for my addiction and the decisions I made, and I’m grateful I was able to move on from it.