Do you wish you could return to a moment from your past?
Unexpected Uplift
Memorable moments can happen from the most unexpected scenarios, such as a PE class final. This is because the best experiences aren’t just the most enjoyable, but the ones that fill you up with warm feelings.
To pass PE near the end of the year everyone needed to run a 5k and reach a target time. On the day of the run I got sick so I had to sit out and walk the track with my injured friend. The coach encouraged us to cheer on our classmates as they passed us to motivate them. I was eager to take on the task as I enjoy uplifting people. PE class came along and the final began. After some time groups of runners began passing us one by one. As they did, I would clap and cheer with all that I could, pushing them onwards. The race proceeded like normal, and I cheered my heart out on each lap. This went on until a point near the end of the run. I saw a lone runner ahead of us and as they approached I began clapping and calling out encouraging words. Suddenly in a harsh tone filled with venom, the runner snapped and yelled.
“Stop!” The pure hostility and irritation in their voice took me completely by surprise. Other runners had smiled and pumped their fists as we encouraged them, but all that meant nothing compared to the defeat I felt at that moment. A few groups passed us and I kept silent, completely demotivated. This kept on until I decided I’d keep going and cheering my peers on, since I didn’t want to be selfish and stop because of how I was feeling. As another runner came up and I started to cheer again, the Coach approached from nearby.
“Belal, either be genuine or don’t do it at all.” I was crushed. I was trying my best to support my classmates, not only because I was instructed to but because I really wanted to. Yet here was the one who instructed me to, accusing me of insincerity. I was a bit frustrated, but I was mostly crestfallen and dispirited. I kept my head down and stayed vacantly mute for the rest of the race. The nightmare finally ended and everyone gathered at the start area to hear their times and convene with their friends. My friend tried to reassure me saying that nothing they said mattered, but it wasn’t getting through to me. Then when I was at my lowest, two of the runners walked up to me with smiles on their faces.
“Thank you so much for the cheering! It was really helpful!” The other nodded enthusiastically. At that moment, I was suddenly lifted up from the sadness I felt. It all vanished without a trace, leaving only warm feelings of appreciation and thankfulness. It was a simple comment, yet because I was feeling low it meant the world to me. What fascinates me the most is that they didn’t know that I was feeling very vulnerable, and had no idea how much of an impact the small gratitude had. Such a feeling is difficult to replicate or relive. It must come from a moment of defeat, then a moment of triumph.
Kindness is a beautiful act that can affect the receiver differently based on various factors. How often they experience it, to what extent the act of kindness went, and how they’re feeling at the time. If the circumstances leading up to one are right, even the smallest act can carry a large significance even the giving end had no knowledge of. Looking back I realize that if your goal is to uplift people, it can be hard to notice when someone is in need of it. For that reason, you should always seek to be compassionate to everyone, because you never know who can benefit from it.
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ReplyDeleteThe sheer loathing in their voice towards you for such a kind and simple act was disgusting. I can't believe anyone would have a heart so full of stone that they wouldn't reciprocate the compassion and empathy you showed towards them as they dutifully pursued their goal. Perhaps in their small-mindedness, they thought you were simply goading them, making fun of them for sport. Perhaps they saw you walking idly while they suffered, and took out their obscene anger upon you. Unfortunately, we will never know, but I'm sorry, my friend, I'm sorry...
ReplyDeleteIn a more academic perspective of this essay, I must note that this essay unfortunately doesn't strike the perfect balance of reflection and storytelling. While the message is beautiful, the reflection simply doesn't express how you have changed; it simply gives a motivating message to the reader. Also, I might add, the wording is sometimes a little bit strong. While I cannot speak to your thoughts at the time, the word "nightmare" to describe the situation might be a little bit strong.
DeleteDespite these issues, the story was still fun and engaging, with the exaggerated adjectives adding a little bit of charm.
Wow Belal, I really loved how emotional your essay was and how deep it is. I will attempt to do my best with addressing your receptiveness and maybe your issue with verbs. I feel that this essay of yours wasn't entirely repetitive and if you're referring to the reactions of people who disliked your support it was only commented negatively by two people. This can be seen in the sentences in between the buildup for the time when the coaches discourage your cheering. As an example "A few groups passed us and I kept silent, completely demotivated. This kept on until I decided I’d keep going and cheering my peers on, since I didn’t want to be selfish and stop because of how I was feeling." And in the ending paragraphs you mentioned the moment your kindness was reciprocated and emphasize on that kindness instead of repeating how it was traded between you and the runners.
ReplyDeleteHi Belal! I’m so sorry that you had to experience this kind of disrespect from your well-intended actions. Though I wish I wasn’t, I am often hesitant about public cheering and acts like this because I am afraid of this very kind of backlash. So I admire you for your bravery and ability to pick yourself up after and persevere, even though it can be very disheartening and demoralizing. I do think that with the balance you’ve asked about, it would be beneficial to add more self-reflection. I think you do a great job of expressing your feelings in the moment, but you could further emphasize how this emotional rollercoaster influenced self growth or change. If you notice that as you add more reflection, you start to go over the word limit, there are a few slightly repetitive spots in the process of describing how you felt that you could cut. Such as the beginning of the 3rd paragraph, there are about 4-5 sentences describing your discouragement that could probably be shortened. But overall great work, I enjoyed reading this story!
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ReplyDeleteHello, Belal! I thought your essay did a great job of demonstrating how little things can have a big emotional impact. I could sense how depressing that moment was for you, and the scene involving the coach and the runner gave the story a very real feel. What caught my attention was how a simple "thank you" made all the difference, demonstrating the power of kindness even when people are unaware of it. Overall, the message struck me as genuine and relatable, and it caused me to consider the impact of my words on other people.
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